Bye Grandma Filla

Funeral Pamphlet

Grandma Filla passed away early Monday morning last week.  Hard to believe that a week has already gone by.  We were so fortunate to have the extra year we had with her since her diagnosis.  I am also happy that she is not in any pain and is in a beautiful, peaceful place with her love, Lee.

Her funeral was this past Saturday.  I told Collin about grandma dying (he has been asking for months now checking in with one of us to see if she has died).  He immediately started to cry.  I talked to him sweetly saying that this is a good thing and that she is not in any pain.  Did he agree?  He shook his head to say "yes".  When he finally came up for breath, I asked why he was so sad, and he said that he would not be able to see her (understandable) and that he would not get to watch the TV in her room (he loved to visit and did not want to leave because of the TV and the toys I would bring with us each time).  He stopped crying and seemed to be OK. 

I did not mention grandma again until Saturday morning while getting dressed for her funeral.  He asked a few questions about what happens to her now (she is in Heaven) and where will she be sleeping (in a comfortable bed next to grandpa).  He was excited to see Timmy, not Leah because he says she is really mean, at the funeral and wanted to know if other kids his age would be there.  I told him that I did not think so but I was not sure.

When we arrived at the funeral home and walked into the room where grandma was laying, Collin wanted to go see her.  This was REALLY hard for me but I walked over with him.  He commented that she had a really nice rag over her hands (this was a lacy handkerchief) and that she had really bright red lipstick.  "Grandma does not wear lipstick".  He then asked if this was going to happen when I die, "yes, my family and friends would come see me one last time", and if this would happen when he dies.  I gave him a similar response.  He then saw Timmy and Leah towards the back of the room and went to sit with them and play.  Most of the people there did not recognize me with my new short brown hair.  I could tell because I would smile and walk towards them to say "hello" and their expression was one of "who is she, I cannot remember?" 

During the service, Collin would whisper questions to me, "When are we going to put her in the ground", "What are we doing after this?"  or "You said she was in Heaven.  You were wrong.  She is right over there" as he pointed to her laying in the coffin.  Then, he kept looking up at the ceiling.  I asked what he was doing and he said he was looking at grandma because Heaven was up in the sky.  I really needed that smile because it was almost my turn to get up and read two poems Aunt Nancy wrote from grandma. 

After the service, we walked outside and followed the hearse to the grave site.  Collin sat in Mimi's lap most of the time while the pastor and funeral director talked.  Then, the ladies all placed yellow roses on grandma's casket before we stepped aside so the lid could be put on.  I don't recall seeing this done at other funerals but it has been awhile (since grandpa and Chris's grandmother over 11 years ago).  We stepped back for the casket to be lowered to the ground and then, one by one, we each picked up the shovel and threw in a little dirt.  Timmy and Collin wanted a turn and liked doing what the adults were doing.  We then watched the bulldozer load the remaining dirt.  Collin and Timmy sat with Aunt Nancy or Mimi asking questions about what the bulldozer was doing and watched until the men were finished placing the headstone back in place. 

After the funeral, we went to the church for refreshments.  We were all really hungry by then.  I was hoping for some food but there were only desserts.  The kids LOVED this though.  Collin picked out only chocolate chip cookies.  Leah took one of everything for her and then went back in line to make a similar plate for Mimi. 

After refreshments at the church and family pictures, we went to grandma's house to unload the plants and flowers.  While there, Collin stayed in the car to continue watching his movie.  Well, the battery died so Collin and Timmy enjoyed watching Pappy and Daddy "jump" the car.  Collin wanted to know how the cables made the car work again, why was Dustin in Mimi's car (the one our car was hooked to) trying to drive it and why were Daddy's hands all dirty.

The car finally started and we went to dinner.  It was like old times except grandma was not there.  We will really miss you grandma!

Christmas at Chelsea Gardens

Having fun with the family hanging out in grandma's room

Grandma's 87th birthday lunch